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NASIR ALI
Srinagar: A land celebrated for its stunning landscapes and rich cultural traditions, has long been known for its unique and vibrant weddings. Among these, the elaborate wazwan, a multi-course feast prepared by master chefs known as wazas, is the hallmark of Kashmiri weddings. The ceremonies are filled with beauty, customs, and rituals passed down through generations. But behind this charm lies a troubling reality—lavish weddings are increasingly becoming an unsustainable burden for the middle and lower-income sections of society.
Kashmiri weddings are not just events; they are social milestones, opportunities for families to showcase their wealth, status, and adherence to cultural norms. The problem arises, however, when this showcase becomes so grand that it leads to an arms race of extravagance, where societal pressure pushes even families with modest means to stretch beyond their financial capacities.
Yet, in recent years, the scale of these weddings has taken on an ostentatious character, where the celebration of love and community has been overshadowed by conspicuous displays of wealth. From elaborate decoration and designer attire to hiring luxury venues, the cost of hosting a wedding has ballooned to exorbitant levels, leaving families with little choice but to follow suit or risk social ostracism.
For families of modest means, the pressure to hold a “grand” wedding is immense. “It is becoming impossible to hold a simple wedding without facing judgment from society,” says Amina, a resident of Naid Kadal Srinagar. “If you don’t provide the most elaborate wazwan, hire a grand banquet hall, or have the latest designer bridal dress, people will talk.”
The cost of an average Kashmiri wedding can now easily reach several lakhs (hundreds of thousands) of rupees. For families earning modest incomes or living on daily wages, this can mean going into debt, selling land, or spending their entire life’s savings on a single event.
A traditional wazwan meal, depending on the number of courses and the reputation of the wazas, can cost tens of thousands of rupees per hundred guests. In urban areas, particularly in Srinagar, the demand for extravagant wedding venues has also driven up prices. Wedding halls, which were once a luxury, have become the norm, with bookings made years in advance and hefty down payments required to secure a date.
The most significant impact of this growing culture of opulence is on the middle class and the poor, who feel the need to keep up with these escalating standards. What should be a joyous celebration often turns into a source of stress and financial strain. Many families are forced to take loans or liquidate assets to finance a wedding that conforms to societal expectations.
Not only do these extravagant weddings create financial strain, but they also perpetuate the cycle of inequality. Wealthier families can afford these lavish affairs, while the less affluent are left struggling to keep up, deepening the divide between social classes.
As the financial burden of these lavish weddings grows, so too does the call for moderation. In recent years, some voices have emerged advocating for simpler, more dignified ceremonies. Community leaders and religious scholars have spoken out about the need to return to the core values of marriage: love, companionship, and unity.
A prominent cleric in Srinagar, Maulana Khalid, recently issued a sermon calling for simpler weddings. “Islam teaches us to live within our means and not burden others with expectations that are beyond their capacity,” he said. “A wedding is about joining two souls, not about bankrupting families.”
Some families have begun to push back against societal expectations by holding smaller, more intimate ceremonies and opting for simpler wazwan menus. However, this remains the exception rather than the norm.
In an attempt to address this issue, the Jammu and Kashmir administration has, on several occasions, implemented regulations limiting the number of guests and courses served at weddings. For example, in 2017, the state government issued a directive restricting the number of guests to 500 and the number of dishes served to seven. Yet, enforcement remains lax, and families continue to flout these rules, often under pressure from relatives and social norms.
In order to truly bring about change, there needs to be a collective shift in societal attitudes. The responsibility lies not just with individuals but also with community leaders, clerics, and the government to promote a culture where moderation is valued, and dignity is prioritized over luxury.
